The Sacrament of Matrimony
The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament.
--Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1601
• Initial Meeting with Priest
Couples planning to marry should call the church office to schedule an appointment with Fr. Hank or Fr. Ramundo at least 9-12 months prior to the planned wedding date.
• Counseling Sessions
Counseling sessions are required for all couples planning to marry at St. Andrew. The priest will discuss the sessions with you and work with your schedules.
• What must I do to reserve the church for my wedding date?
Please call the church office to determine the availability of the church on your desired wedding date. It may be officially reserved ($50 deposit) when the priest gives his approval. The church fee is $600. A separate gift may be given to the priest or deacon.
• For additional details, click here.
(in English and Spanish)
DIOCESAN GUIDELINES FOR ENGAGED COUPLES:
To all couples preparing for marriage, congratulations!
Your Church celebrates marriage as one of the most important decisions of your life and recognizes that sacramental marriage is a call to holiness. In order to help you begin your life together with helpful tools to aid a faithful, permanent and fruitful commitment, the Diocese of Tyler has the following guidelines for sacramental marriage.
Congratulations on your Engagement!
“Now what do we do?”
1. Call Your Parish (9-12 months before the wedding)
Call as soon as you get engaged! A member of the parish staff will schedule a meeting with you to discuss your wedding preparations as soon as possible.
2. Initial Meeting (9 months before wedding)
At this meeting, you’ll learn about the formation process for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, the necessary paperwork for your marriage, and set your tentative wedding date.
3. Couple Inventory (7-8 months before wedding)
The couple inventory provides you with a personalized profile of your relationship. Your parish will set this up for you, and upon completion, they will help you schedule the follow-up session to review your results.
4. Witness to Love (7-8 months before wedding)
You will be asked to choose your own marriage mentor couple who will accompany you during your formation and throughout your first few years of marriage using the Witness to Love model. You will have several meetings with them in the time leading up to your wedding, and they will continue to be a support to you in the years to come!
5. Three to Get Married Retreat (6-7 months before wedding)
This retreat weekend will be an opportunity for you to grow closer to Jesus Christ and to one another. Here you will build on the topics you have discussed with your Pastor and your Mentor Couple, with a special focus on the theology of Catholic marriage and other teachings of our Catholic faith. Click the link below for a schedule of upcoming retreat weekends.
6. Natural Family Planning (5-6 months before the wedding)
NFP respects the love-giving and life-giving purposes of marriage and enriches the bond between husband and wife. This course gives couples a natural approach to understanding the cycles of fertility and infertility. Course listings may be found on the St. Philip Institute website.
7. Final Meeting (2 months before the wedding)
This meeting will review your previous preparation, complete all your paperwork, and plan your wedding liturgy. You’re getting close to celebrating this beautiful sacrament!
8. Sacrament of Reconciliation (1 week before the wedding)
Catholics preparing for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony are encouraged to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Reconciliation and the Eucharist are invaluable sources of grace and healing. Celebrate this sacrament with your spouse-to-be!
Contact the St. Philip Institute: Office of Family Life
For more information on any of these items, please contact the Director of Family Life, Deanna Johnston .
Phone: 903-630-5055, Ext. 112
St. Andrew Parish Contacts: Samantha & Zach Allen
Pastoral Care of Couples Who Are Cohabitating
This letter, written by The Most Rev. Michael J. Sheehan, reflects the teaching of the Holy Catholic Church and the commitment to brotherly love found at St. Andrew the Apostle Catholic Church.
April 3, 2011
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
We are all painfully aware that there are many Catholics today who are living in cohabitation. The Church must make it clear to the faithful that these unions are not in accord with the Gospel, and to help Catholics who find themselves in these situations to do whatever they must do to make their lives pleasing to God.
First of all, we ourselves must be firmly rooted in the Gospel teaching that, when it comes to sexual union, there are only two lifestyles acceptable to Jesus Christ for His disciples: a single life of chastity, or the union of man and woman in the Sacrament of Matrimony. There is no “third way” possible for a Christian. The Bible and the Church teaches that marriage is between one man and one woman and opposes same sex unions.
We have three groups of people who are living contrary to the Gospel teaching on marriage: those who cohabit; those who have a merely civil union with no previous marriage; and those who have a civil union who were married before. These people are objectively living in a state of mortal sin and may not receive Holy Communion.
They are in great spiritual danger. At the best - and this is, sadly, often the case - they are ignorant of God’s plan for man and woman. At the worst, they are contemptuous of God’s commandments and His sacraments.
Of these three groups, the first two have no real excuse. They should marry in the Church or separate. Often their plea is that they “cannot afford a church wedding” i.e. the external trappings, or that “what difference does a piece of paper make?” - as if a sacramental covenant is nothing more than a piece of paper! Such statements show religious ignorance, or a lack of faith and awareness of the evil of sin.
The third group, those who were married before and married again outside the Church, can seek a marriage annulment and have their marriage blest in the Church. Please remember that divorce still is no reason to refrain from Holy Communion as long as they have not entered into another marriage or sinful relationship. Many Catholics are confused on this point.
Christ our Lord loves all these people and wishes to save them - not by ignoring their sin, or calling evil good, but by repentance and helping them to change their lives in accordance with His teaching. We, as His Church, must do the same. In accord with this, I would remind you of the following:
1. People in the above three situations cannot receive the Sacraments, with the important exception of those who agree to live chastely (“as brother and sister”) until their situation is regularized. Of course, those in danger of death are presumed to be repentant.
2. These people may not be commissioned as Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion, not only because of scandal, but even more because one commits the sin of sacrilege by administering a Sacrament in the state of mortal sin.
3. Nor are such people to be admitted to the role of sponsor for Baptism or Confirmation, as is clearly stated on the Archdiocesan Affidavit for a Sponsor. It is critical for the sponsor to be a practicing Catholic - and can anyone be seriously called a practicing Catholic who is not able to receive the sacraments because they are living in sin?
4. When it comes to other parish ministries and organizations, I feel it best to leave these situations to the judgment of the pastor. Prudence is needed, avoiding all occasions of scandal. We must see their involvement in the parish as an opportunity to work urgently to bring such people to repentance and the regularization of their lifestyle.
5. Many of these sins are committed out of ignorance. I ask that our pastors preach on the gravity of sin and its evil consequences, the 6th and 9th Commandments of God, and the sacramental nature and meaning of Christian marriage. Our catechetical programs in our parishes - children, youth, and adult –must clearly and repeatedly teach these truths.
A Church wedding does not require some lavish spectacle and entertainment costing vast sums of money (Indeed, how often we have seen the most costly weddings end in divorce in but a few months or years!). While beauty and joy should surround a Christian wedding, we must remind everyone that it is a sacrament, not a show.
6. Those who are married outside the Church because of a previous union are urged to seek an annulment through our Marriage Tribunal. If it can be found that the first marriage lacked some essential quality for a valid marriage, the Tribunal can grant an annulment. Your pastor can help someone start a marriage case for this purpose. It is important for such couples to continue to pray and get to Mass even though they may not receive Communion, until their marriage can be blest in the Church.
Our popular American culture is often in conflict with the teachings of Jesus and His Church. I urge especially young people to not cohabitate which is sinful, but to marry in the Church and prepare well for it.
I congratulate and thank those thousands of Catholic married couples who role model the Sacrament of Marriage according to the teachings of Jesus and his Church.
Sincerely yours in the Risen Lord,
Most Rev. Michael J. Sheehan
Archbishop of Santa Fe